Reluctant Hesitation
by rememberxme
Summary: A.U. When Callie and Arizona were ten, they got "married," they promised each other to be there and that no matter what they will always have each other. Perhaps it was pretend but to Callie it meant everything. The young Latina was in love with Arizona. As the years went on things changed until they fell apart. Two years later they find each other again, will Callie finally tell.
1. Just Want You to Know

Reluctant Hesitation

A.U. When Callie and Arizona were ten, they got "married," they promised each other to be there and that no matter what they will always have each other. Perhaps it was pretend but to Callie it meant everything. The young Latina was in love with Arizona. As the years went on things changed. They were still best friends but Callie always seemed to be watching her best friend be with someone else. After graduation, the two went their different ways and lost touch. Maybe Callie will finally find the courage to tell her best friend.

**A/N: **Well, I didn't actually think I would post this but I decided to give it a shot. Please be kind and give polite criticism. I'm more of a poet rather than an author, so bare with me. O.o And the rating will change along the way. Here we go

Chapter One: Just Want You To Know

_October 18__th__ 2002 _

Callie was rummaging through her closet looking for the perfect outfit for tonight. Although, impressions didn't really matter to the Latina but she did find pleasure in getting all dolled up.

"Maybe I'll go with the black jeans and red top." She murmured picking the article of clothing up and holding the top up in front of her chest; she gave a small smile to herself in the mirror before putting the top down.

"Well, at least wear those boots with it then." Mark interjected as he leaned against the door frame watching his best friend struggle with her wardrobe decisions.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to wear it," she paused turning to look at her friend quizzically. "How did you get in this time?"

"I know where the spare is hidden, Torres. You're kind of obvious, so don't be surprised. Plus I practically live here now." Mark moved some of her clothes over before sitting on the bed.

He was right, ever since Addison and him got together she saw him more than she liked. But her friends were happy together and Mark wasn't off screwing every girl in their meds course.

"Maybe you'll meet a chick there. Maybe you can get a hook up or a number." The latina just ignored him as she finished folding her clothes back up and placed them back into their respectable drawer.

"You know I don't date Mark. Nor would I want to "hook up" with strangers." She emphasized on hook up with air quotes. The last time Callie hooked up with someone it turned out bad. She was heavily intoxicated and could remember bits and pieces. Other than that her sex life was nonexistent.

"Torres, you can't keep waiting for something that can't happen. Plus you haven't talked to her since… Well since she started dating Joanne in freshman year."

"Just stop Mark, Arizona has nothing to do with this."

They both knew she was lying out of her ass but he didn't want to push the subject. He was right, Arizona never saw her as more than just a friend. Just always best friends, or as Mark used to say Callie was friendzoned. Being friends was fine for a while until Joanne came into the picture and being friends was too hard to do. All the phone calls that always ended up about the woman who held Arizona's heart or when the Latina would visit Joanne would always be there and she would be the third wheel. At first call just made excuses, saying school was really intense or that she was busy with the softball team. Then the calls started to get less frequent until there were none.

The first month was the hardest, Callie was slipping away, and she would only attend class and go to the bar until Addison or Mark had to literally drag her home. She was hurting, she missed her friend but couldn't deal with hearing about the love that she was not part of.

"Earth to Callie?" Mark was waving his hands in front of her face.

"What? I'm listening to you Mark." She replied not even realizing that Mark hadn't said two words.

"What's up with you tonight Cal? Is everything alright?"

"Did I do the right thing with Arizona? Or was I the bitch that ignored her best friend?" She sighed knowing what the answer was.

"You did what you had to, you need to protect yourself. She's a big girl but the point is you were hurting and it wasn't far that she ignored all the signs." The latina just rested her head on her best friend's broad shoulder. She didn't have anything to say, he was right she was in pain, yet she was at fault. She never told Arizona how she felt. Before getting up Mark hugged his friend and patted her on the back before heading downstairs to make sure his girlfriend was ready as well.

Once he left her bedroom she proceeded to get changed, she gave herself a once over in the mirror before heading down the stairs. Maybe this party was just what she needed.

**A/N:** So tell me what you guess think. I know it's kind of short but when hand written it felt like a lot. I was wrong. Lol. I have more chapters already written on paper but I have work in the morning and can't get the rest typed up in time. So review. Tell me if it's even worth typing the rest up.


	2. Everything

**A/N: **I realized how short the first chapter was so I'm adding the second one before I go to bed.

Chapter Two: Everything.

Arizona's POV.

The music was so loud that she could feel the floors tremble below her shoes and her house was filled with hormonal drunk college kids. A lot of the faces she saw on her way in she didn't even recognize. Who the hell was in her house? Arizona didn't mind the parties her best friend would have but tonight she did not want to deal with it. She just wanted to come home, drink a bottle of wine and go to bed. But that was off the list of things to do now. Shaking her head she entered the mass of bodies, trying to find her way to the living room where Teddy would most likely be. Her yard was filled with sleeping drunks, half naked drunks and solo cups everywhere. She grabbed a beer when she finally laid eyes on the tall blonde.

"Teddy, who the fuck did you invite? All of UNC?" She questioned as she pulled her best friend away from the male she was trying to converse with.

"Well, I just posted it on facebook and I guess people from upstate came down to par-tay. I am the queen of parties, Zona." She said very cockily as she eyed up the young man she was previously talking to.

"He's name is Henry. He's in my pharmaceutical class. I think he might finally make a move. Anyway, AZ just hook up with someone. I know Joanne and you are on the rocks and you don't really want to be in the relationship anymore. So why not just forget the bitch for a night."

"I'm just gonna grab a stronger drink and go to my room. And there better not be anyone fucking in there or I will kill you." She said before sauntering off.

Teddy was right, her relationship was practically over they just didn't talk it through. But it was something they both knew, you could feel it whenever they were together. Honestly, they could have been good together but Arizona had a broken friendship on her mind.

When she got to the kitchen she grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, poured herself a glass and headed towards the stairs. She was about to head up when she caught sight of the young latina. She hadn't seen her in years but she still looked like the little girl she knew back in Jacksonville.

She decided to walk over and see how things were, Arizona made it halfway before the latina turned around and caught sight of the blonde. Her eyes grew wide and her lips formed a huge smile.

"AZ! Holy shit! Look at you." The latina squealed loudly before rushing over to elope her into a bear hug. The blonde just smiled back at her. Memories were brought back from their childhood, memories that vanished with her friendship.

"Hey Aria, how have you been?" She politely asked avoiding mentioning the older sister's name.

"I've been doing well, I got into Chapel Hill this year and a few friends heard about this party. And I just had to see it myself if it was really you. Damn. Look at you. You're hot." She exclaimed looking at her sister's best friend. "So, how have you been? Any new gossip for me?"

"I've been better. I have a lot of work coming up and my relationship is kind of on the rocks. But other than that life is just awesome." Her last words were heavily coated in sarcasm.

"It's a shame really, we all thought you and Callie would get together and make it. Everyone back home were rooting for you two."

Arizona just smiled faintly at the latina's words. Callie was straight last time she heard. But what would she know? It's been years and they never talked about it.

"Aria, you do know Callie and I haven't spoken in two years?" She questioned wanting to make sure she knew.

"Yeah, which I find stupid. But whatever floats your boat. She's always liked you."

"Excuse me?"

Did she just say Callie had always liked her? That was news to her.

"Yeah, something about Mrs. Robbins-Torres and grass rings or whatever. She was in love with you all through middle school, high school, the whole shebang."

Arizona just stood there dumbfounded. Mrs. Robbins-Torres, really? Could she have been that blind for so long. She never even once thought Callie liked her. She never noticed that _her _best friend was in love with her. And now it was too late.

"Hey, AZ it was good seeing you but I'm gonna have to catch up with you some more another time." Aria gave her a quick squeeze before disappearing into the crowd again.

What were the chances that Callie would be in love with her? She didn't even think about it. Everything started to make sense. The reason why Callie ditched prom, the reason why she stopped calling and all the excuses, she turned her best friend into a third wheel who happened to be in love with her. But why didn't Callie ever say anything.

Arizona was so deep in thought trying to figure out all the reasons why Callie wouldn't tell her that she didn't even notice bumping into someone, knocking her glass of whiskey all over the person.

"I'm so sorry, I should have been paying attention." She said grabbing a napkin and trying to blotch the liquor off the woman's blouse. She didn't realize that she was dabbing a napkin on someone's boobs. When the shock wore off, Arizona finally noticed what she was doing and quickly backed away.

She finally looked up to apologize to the women when she came face to face with the same brown eyes that she knew so well.

"Calliope?"

**A/N: **So there you have it, the second chapter. I need to find someone to edit these for me. I am the worst when it comes to grammar and punctuation. But for now I hope my errors didn't drive any of you away. And if you can guess what song's the titles are named after then four for you.


	3. Someone, Somewhere

**A/N: ** I'm so thankful for all of you who are now following my story or me and those who reviewed this. I started this fanfic just for fun while I was at work. I had no intention in publishing. So thank you. I'll be on vacation for a week so my updates will be limited. So bare with me. Lots of love.

Chapter 3: Someone, Somewhere.

Callie's POV.

"Why didn't you tell me we were going down to Charlotte?" The latina demanded, even if this was supposed to be the coolest party in North Carolina, she knew her luck would not be in her favor. Arizona would probably be at the party they were heading to and she would most likely be there with another girl. Something that Callie couldn't bear seeing right now.

"Come on Cal, it's only a party and there is a one in a million chance she'll be at _this_ party. Plus Robbins doesn't party." Her best friend reassured her, leaning back against his seat to glance over his shoulder to look at her. He was right. Arizona wouldn't be there and if she was then there was no mistake that God hated her.

The drive took a little over two hours to get to the house, after parking down the street the three arrived at the party that was now in full swing. When they stepped into the house they were greeted with the fresh scent of booze and cigarettes, people thrown into every space available. This place was packed and where were the cops? Parties like this upstate would have been shut down before it even started; this party had drunks all over the street, loud music and probably some drugs.

"So, how the hell did you hear about this party Addy?" The latina had to pick up her voice to be heard by her red headed friend who was only inches away from her.

"My cousin Henry, he goes to UNC and he said this girl in his pharmaceutical class throws the best parties. That was an understatement."

The three just stood there soaking up their surroundings and all thinking the same thing, when Mark decided to state the obvious.

"Seriously, there aren't any cops busting their ass about it."

"Could you imagine what kind of trouble we would be in if we threw something like this back at home?" Addison interjected before spotting the makeshift dance floor. "Mark, I want to dance."

Sloan rolled his eyes before leaning over to Callie so she would be able to hear him, "just go grab a drink, get some liquid courage and mingle. You're not going to see these people again and they don't even know your name."

Before he could give her, the Sloan method pep talk Addison dragged him off to the living room where people were dancing. Callie didn't know anyone here and it's not like she was going to see them ever again. What was the risk? When she turned to get a drink, she swore she caught a glimpse of her sister but she shrugged it off. _Aria wouldn't be here, _she thought to herself.

The latina finally found where all the liquor was being kept and decided to make use of someone else's paid booze. A few shots later, she declared a beer and dancing would keep her mind busy. She was halfway to the living room when someone slammed into her, knocking her beer on her along with the other glass of alcohol.

Her shirt was now drenched and smelt like a keg.

"I'm so sorry; I should have been paying attention." The girl said frantically as she dabbed her with a napkin. When the blonde looked up, memories rushed back into her mind. Those blue eyes that were clearer than any summer sky were staring straight at her. Those eyes that haunted the latina's dreams every night.

"Yeah, one in a million my ass." She mumbled to herself.

"Calliope?"

The way her name rolled off Arizona's tongue made her melt and forget about the last two years of silence between them. She was the only person, except her father, who was allowed to call her that. Anyone else would have gotten their ass kicked before they'd be able to finish pronouncing her name. But when Arizona said her name, chills would run up her spine and every hair on her body would stick up. But it wasn't just her sexy sultry voice that got her, it was the way her lips formed around her name, the way those dimples would emphasize her smile. Callie was absorbed in her beauty, two years wasn't long but damn her best friend grew up. She was so caught up in Arizona's presences that she forgot what was going on; when she shook out of her trance she didn't hold back.

"Just my fucking luck, I run into you here." The latina spat at her.

"Well, you know this is my house." Arizona added politely, not necessarily understanding the bitter hostility towards her. "Let me get you a shirt Calliope."

"You know what; I'm just going to go. I'm fine." She shot back, not wanting to spend another moment with her. Her anger was misguided and at this point after the amount of alcohol there was no holding back.

"Don't be ridiculous Calliope, you're covered in booze and you smell worse than a mini bar." Before the latina could protest, Arizona grabbed a hold of her arm and led her upstairs. When they got into the room, she shut and locked the door behind them. Callie just stood there absorbing the surrounding in. The room was very in character, the walls were a shade of blue that would play off the girls' eyes. Trophies and plaques, all in perfect order were aligned on the shelf along with a few books. But it was the photograph that caught her off guard. It was from the day they got "married." Callie was in her Sunday's best and Arizona was in her play clothes, their arms linked and both smiling widely. But even in photo, you could see the way the latina's eyes lit up when she was with Arizona, especially that day. She slowly traced her fingers along the picture, reminiscing in detail. It was like just yesterday to her.

"That's my favorite photo of us."

Callie was startled by the blonde's comment and presence, not knowing how long she was standing there behind her. She carefully put the frame down before turning to face her former friend.

"I found an old shirt of yours, I think you forgot it the last time you visited me."

When Arizona handed the shirt to her, their fingers brushed against each other momentarily. But it was like an electric shockwave pulsing through them. Callie ignored every butterfly and tingling sensation storming through her and just pulled the shirt towards her chest. Walking over towards the door, she pulled her wet blouse off, leaving her in her black lace bra. After discarding the shirt she slid the new one on, it smelt just like Arizona…Had she been wearing it?

When Callie turned around she noticed the blue eyes locked on her body, soaking in as much as she could.

"A picture lasts longer, you know?" she said smirking before turning to go for the bedroom door.

"Calliope, wait. I want to talk." The blonde practically begged.

"There's nothing to say, Arizona." Her voice was laced with hurt, seeing her again brought back all the memories she continuously drank away.

"Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt?" The blue eyes were pleading for an answer and that super magic smile that was once on her face quickly faded. Stepping closer to Callie, she grabbed her arm and fiercely pulled her in close enough so she couldn't get away.

"How did you know that?"

The latina avoided looking up into those eyes, for she knew there would be no turning back.

"Aria's here, we ran into each other and she told me." She paused as she placed two fingers under the latina's chin and lifted her face up to make eye contact. "Calliope, why didn't you ever tell me?"

Callie's eyes pooled with tears, every emotion inside of her was about to pour out, yet her words were caught. Even if she could speak, she didn't know what to say or how to say it. Arizona was about to pull her closer when she pushed herself away even more.

"No, you can't do that. Not now." The latina swiped her tears away as if they never fell.

"Calliope. Answer me, why didn't you ever tell me?" The blonde begged even more, she wanted to know, she _needed _to know.

"How could I? You were always with someone else Arizona. How do you think I felt? All the years of watching you be with someone else, watching you fall in love with someone who was not me and then having to hear every little detail about it." her voice began to rise, but she didn't want to have this fight. Not now, not ever. She was about to open the door when it swung fully open and clocked her square in the head. Everything was already going to hell so why not add a huge welt. She was about to pick herself back up when everything started moving in different directions. Callie could feel her eyelids get heavier and the lights were blurring out of focus, until she finally fall back down.

She was out cold.

**A/N: **So? What did you think? I have one other chapter until I have to start writing again, so you're gonna have to bear with me. And the sucky part is the chapter I have written out is only a fluff insert chapter. Basically, what she's dreaming of when knocked out. But it's cute. So, this is what I got for now guys. I hope you liked it. And once again thank you for all the kind words and follows. I hope I don't let you down.


	4. Author's Note

A/N: Guys I am so sorry for the delay. I was on a much needed vacation for the last week and it slowed down my writing. Honestly, I didn't even think of my fanfic the whole week. But I promise to have an update before wed. :D


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